Author: Douglas Stone

“Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen is a comprehensive guide on how to effectively receive feedback. Here’s a detailed summary and some reviews:

Summary

Overview:
The book delves into the challenges and nuances of receiving feedback effectively. While giving feedback is often emphasized, Stone and Heen argue that receiving feedback is equally important and requires skill and practice¹.

Three Types of Feedback:
1. Appreciation: Acknowledgment and validation, such as a pat on the back or a thank you.
2. Coaching: Advice or guidance aimed at helping the recipient improve, learn, and grow.
3. Evaluation: Ranking or rating against a set of standards or expectations, often used for promotions or raises¹².

Challenges in Receiving Feedback:

• Identity Crisis: Feedback can feel like an attack on our identity, leading to defensive reactions.
• Wrong Timing: Feedback might come when we’re not mentally or emotionally prepared.
• Distrust in the Giver: If the feedback giver isn’t trusted, the feedback might be ignored¹.

Triggers:

• Truth Triggers: Activated when feedback seems wrong or off-base.
• Relationship Triggers: Based on our relationship with the feedback giver.
• Identity Triggers: When feedback threatens our self-worth².

Key Lessons:
1. Understand the Trinity of Feedback Types: Distinguishing between appreciation, coaching, and evaluation helps in understanding and reacting appropriately.
2. Navigating Emotional Reactions: Recognizing that feedback is not a personal attack.
3. Mastering Feedback Conversations: Viewing feedback as a two-way street and engaging in constructive dialogue¹.

Reviews

Positive Reviews:

• Insightful and Practical: Many readers appreciate the practical advice and real-life examples that make the concepts easy to understand and apply.
• Transformative: Some reviewers mention that the book has significantly improved their ability to handle feedback, both personally and professionally³.

Critical Reviews:

• Repetitive: A few readers feel that the book can be repetitive at times, reiterating the same points.
• Overwhelming: Some find the detailed analysis and numerous examples a bit overwhelming4.

Overall, “Thanks for the Feedback” is praised for its thorough exploration of the topic and its practical approach to improving how we receive and respond to feedback.

Source:
(1) Thanks For The Feedback Summary And Key Lessons – BooksThatSlay. https://booksthatslay.com/thanks-for-the-feedback-summary/.
(2) Book Summary – Thanks For The Feedback – Readingraphics. https://readingraphics.com/book-summary-thanks-for-the-feedback/.
(3) Thanks for the Feedback | Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen | Soundview Summary. https://www.summary.com/book-summary/Thanks-for-the-Feedback/.
(4) Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receivi…. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18114120-thanks-for-the-feedback.
(5) Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well …. https://youexec.com/book-summaries/thanks-for-the-feedback.